tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746901658370301167.post620143706947171241..comments2024-03-29T03:31:26.502-07:00Comments on When 140 Characters Isn't Enough: On Equal MarriageSam Freedman (@samfr)http://www.blogger.com/profile/07413287655324567750noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4746901658370301167.post-5050005148582726372013-07-26T07:01:44.779-07:002013-07-26T07:01:44.779-07:00I think it's perfectly OK to hope that if you ...I think it's perfectly OK to hope that if you have kids they turn out to be straight. That's a very different thing from wanting straight kids. That might sound like a meaningless semantic distinction, but the way I see it is this:<br /><br />If a parent is going to think any less of their kids or love them any less if they are gay (or any of LGBQT) then that is a bad thing, with no shadow of a doubt. Any parent who expressed that view to me would get a (literal or metaphorical) smack round the head. It's homophobia, pure and simple. (Of course, whether parents would actually react in the same way when faced with a child coming out is a different question. People who may have previously been anti-homosexuality can often be won over when a close friend or family member comes out)<br /><br />But hoping that your child doesn't have to go through the painful process of coming out and being gay is an entirely rational view. No matter how good our equality is, life for gay people is never going to be as easy as for straight people. A minority is always going to be a minority, and when ~95% of people are straight, there is always going to be an expectation that you (generic) are straight as well unless there's good reason to suppose otherwise. So there will still be a process of "coming to terms" followed by "coming out". <br />Even if there's no discrimination against gay people, they still face challenges. On one level, with far fewer people to choose from, it's harder to find a partner ... and that's even ignoring the social <i>faux pas</i> of a gay person unwittingly asking a straight person out. Same-sex couples can't have children, and while adoption and surrogacy are options, they are unlikely to be as desirable an option for most people as having their own children.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I don't think gay people get a raw deal at all ... at least not in Britain and many other countries. Being gay, I am very glad to live in 21st century Britain, and I know that my life will be a whole lot easier than at any other time in the past, or in many other countries around the world even now. I find craven acceptance of discrimination, such as the Harvey Milk School, utterly abhorrent, and I think it has a really negative impact on the battle to win hearts and minds. But I don't see the view expressed here as being anywhere near that. It isn't craven acceptance of discrimination, it's pragmatic realism, and it's entirely justified.Stevie Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00190342780021142085noreply@blogger.com